The Mind Of Midnight

Obsessions

2012-01-17T11:55:00.000+01:00

I will be the first to admit that I am easily lured into obsession..
Especially when it comes to books, Manga and Anime. But Trivial everyday things like make up also come to occupy my mind easily..

For the past two weeks, I have meant to write about several subjects. One being an amazing birthday party that the hippie held..
But I have been completely caught up in my own little world called Obsession.
First it was make up because I realized I barely had any anymore and I really wanted something proper this time.. So I started studying brands and tutorials to learn new looks(I swear to pixiwoo on youtube btw!). I've spoiled myself with some M.A.C eye shadows and Avon eyeliners. Have a ton of other things in mind I want to get over the next few months.
But make up is not what keeps me awake until 5 in the morning or make my fingers tingle to start working on a new project.
Bleach is..
We have now seen 297 episodes, have about 50 more before we've caught up on the newly released ones. I've started reading fan-fictions, studying fan-art and started some work on my own. I absolutely love it! I have not been this swallowed up in anything in years.
Unfortunatly, my lover is not used to seeing me like this, being completely ignores for hours at the time. I have to assure him, no I don't love him any less, nothing is wrong and I am not growing bored with our sexlife. I simply just like the Anime he insisted so hard I watched with him..
My rekindled hobby has caused some rather unfortunate comments on his behalf though, comments I find myself having a hard time letting go of. Apparently he has seen my attention, devotion and longing for him as me being dependent of him. And now that I'm not paying 120% attention to him at all times, I must've grown more independent..
Not to mention the comment about who or what I think about during sex.. urgh..

Anyway, I'm quite content and inspired these days, I have missed this so much..
Eventually, I will put my work online, writings on Fanfiction.net and pictures either here or Mediaminer.org. I have a ton of ideas already that I can't wait to share.

Edit: Having psycoloqy classes while writing this, results in some weird self analysing.. I should probably avoid that in the futur..

New years eve 2011-2012

2012-01-02T21:17:00.001+01:00

Even though it's just the three of us, we've still decided to make it fancy.

Starter - Shrimp Coctail
I used this recipe but replaced the creme fraise with low fat Greek yoghurt(2%)
Main Course - Sushi
We've ordered the new years menu from SushiSushi.
Desert - Tiramisu w. Baileys
I used Gordon Ramsey's easy Tiramisu recipe which I found here and used Baileys instead of Marsala. And I made it the night before.
(I might add pictures later on if any of them turned out good)

It was absolutely amazing!
The day was quite relaxing, we got out of bed late and I had to go feed a friends cats and pick up the sushi. Jonas cleaned meanwhile so I could start making the shrimp cocktails when I came home. Angel was a bit weary and cranky all day, showed up she had a fever. She was ever so exited about the fireworks though!
We went outside a bit before midnight and I got the biggest, most intense kiss when the fireworks started. We only stayed out for about 10 minutes though, Angel and I doesn't fancy the loud noises that much. Besides, from our bedroom window, we could see half the towns fireworks and our neighbor sure went at it.
Angel was then put to bed and the rest of the night was spend watching Bleach and cuddling on the couch..
Not to forget the amazing sex early in the morning.

Back to Bleach.
For years I refused to watch it, claiming it would absolutely never win my interest. I'd seem a few minutes here and there and it did not seem the least bit appealing to me..
But Jonas managed to talk me into it. "Just a few of the first episodes and if you don't like it, I'll let it go."
Well needless to say I was hooked from the start.

The most amazing Christmas ever.

2011-12-25T13:54:00.003+01:00

For the first time in my life, I have only gotten presents I have actually wished for..!
No sucky make up in quality and colours that I can't use, no pink towels, no knitted sweaters, no ugly tablecloths or candle holders or pictures of skycrapers/'vampires'/flowers or 'persian' carpets.
I want to brag a little, mostly because I am strongly exited. And I know this makes me sound very shallow and bitchy, but when you've worn black for 11 years and still get yellow shirts(three sizes too small or big) for Christmas, you get a little cranky. I think people either see it as a joke or seriously believe the black clothes is just a phase. What's wrong with wearing black??

Anyway, here we go:
-5 gift certificates for IKEA worth 2700,- (Big bookshelve and some new kitchen towels is being bought for some of the money)
-2 gift certificates for Salling worth 400,- (M.A.C make up!)
-OBHnordica digital kitchen scale (Cooking/baking/weighing cats and kittens)
-12 red wine, 12 white wine and 6 champagne glasses. (Finally! We love wine and already had 2 winebreathers. But no glasses.)
-Nuance wine pourer areator. (pure luxury!)
-Curtain for the kitchen window

Angel got a ton of toys and some clothes and she loves it all, she didn't even want desert or play the mandatory gift stealing game. I tugged her into my bed around midnight and she passed out immediately. We went to set up the TV and dvd we got her so she'd wake up to that. It's not a new TV, actually Jonas' old one from when he lived at home. But it works and she's happy.
Jonas got a book he really wanted(Game Of Thrones), tools, gift certificates and the wine glasses + areator was a joint gift for us. He decided I bought him Star Wars, but I don't really feel that's a gift from me so I think I'll give him some books in January(A Clash Of Kings and A Storm Of Swords)
Auntie and the boys loved their presents too. We'd bought a Beaute Pacifique Moisturizor for Auntie, a toaster for Dan and Glenn got money of same amount at their gifts so he can afford a quitar he really wants.
Dan is considering renting the small but ever so amazing apartment upstairs but I think it'll be a little too expensive for him. They left with the last train at 00:30..

Without intend, I made the food almost low fat. I didn't add any, used honey instead of sugar, poured away the grease, used low fat Greek yogurt instead of full fat creme fraise for the broccoli salad and skimmed milk for the sauce instead of cream. I'm quite satisfied with that. Think I'll stick to those recipes.

Well Christmas is not completely over yet though. Tomorrow we have family lunch with my parents, uncle, siblings etc. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, but they have a bunch of gifts for Angel, so I promised we'd come. BUT! If any of them is just the slightest bit intoxicated or they bring alcohol to the table, we'll be leaving in an instant.

The Night Before Christmas

2011-12-23T22:53:00.003+01:00

For the past year, I have followed this girls blog. I've known her for years, though never really personally.
We've met occasionally at parties and other happenings, had a few conversations online over the years, but nothing special.
I must admit, I admire her. She seems so fragile and amazingly strong at the same time and she has quite a bunch of talents that fascinates me.
But even after following her blogs for this long, I rarely press 'send' when writing a comment. Simply because I don't want to seem like a stranger stalking her life..
I have often considered sending her a message saying I might just be a random stranger, but if she ever needs to talk, I have an ear. 'Cuz that girl's been through some tough stuff and still struggles with the consequences.
I never do it though. I know I couldn't offer her as much support and as close a friendship as she seems to deserve. And to be honest, I haven't got the slightest clue weather or not she even likes my online attention or she'd rather I left her alone.

Anyway, it's Christmas eve tomorrow and I'm quite exited about it.. It won't be anything too fancy, just us three, my auntie and her two boys, I'm doing the cooking. Don't want my auntie to worry about the slightest thing this year, she really deserves a break and some pampering. We even bought a red wine I think she'll like, even though she so rarely let herself sit down with a glass..
The bedroom is stuffed with presents, mostly for Angel, from Jonas' family.. I wonder if any of us get anything from our wishlist, I doubt I will. But Angel will love anything she gets anyway, she's so exited just unwrapping stuff.
I have already prepared a ton of food and I keep thinking I should make more. Which is silly because I barely eat any of it myself. I just love making it.
But tomorrow is defiantly going to be amazing.

On another note:

She's now 8 weeks old, only 6 more to go before I can go get her!

And I know when I need it I can count on you, like four, three, two - You'll be there..

2011-12-12T22:34:00.001+01:00

Bruno Mars - Count On Me

1½ year ago, you stepped through the front door to my heart for the first time and decided you wouldn't walk out again.
I am still ever so love struck and so lucky to have you..

2012

2011-12-12T20:07:00.001+01:00

I have set a bunch of goals for the upcoming year and there are other stuff that needs to be delt with. And then there are all the stuff I dream of doing..
So I decided to make a list which I will refer to during next year, check off what's been done etc.

Needs to be done:
-Pay all old bills.
-Help Felina through birth and motherhood for the first time and find good homes for the kittens.
-Bring down my absence rate at school.
-Catch up on schoolwork and home assignments.
-Sort and organize the basement.
-Get bookshelves and unpack the last boxes.

Goals:
-Find good tenant for apartment upstairs(must love cats).
-Pay and pick up Shirley in beginning of February
-Fix, fence in and redecorate garden before June.
-Have 1 full month with no sick-days from school before April.
-Take better care of my health, body and looks.
-Get in shape and lose 5kg.

Dreams:
-Borrow my grandfathers summer residence for a week during summer with Angel and Jonas.
-Mini vacation in London with Jonas during summer or fall.
-Get lots of beauty products from Soap&Glory, new makeup and extensions.
-Lose 10 kg.

I might add more later on, but for now, this is it.

Acute Bronchitis

2011-12-05T20:56:00.002+01:00

I couldn't just settle with the common cold, now, could I..
No I had to go and get borderline pneumonia and make a fool out of myself at the Doctor's clinic..
Better take it from the start..
The last 2 months, I've had the flu, a bladder infection, a sore throat and then a cold. The cold got a real good hold of my lousy immune system and started developing from a sniffle to coughing and on to me barely being able to breath, still coughing and in quite a lot of pain. It kept me awake all through last night and this morning, I felt like a truck had run over me once or twice. So I gave in and called the clinic.
It's located less than 1 km from our house and yet the trip up there left me dizzy and heaving for my breath and I was slightly panicking. As soon as my new Doctor looked at me and said I surely didn't look too good, if I had problems catching my breath, I could barely hold back tears and whimpered "I just want to breath but it hurts".
He caught me completely off guard with his kindness, I'm not used to that from doctors.
The poor man reflected my panic, guided me to the couch to lie down and ran off to get one of the older Doctors.
The older one got me to sit up, brought me tissues for my tears and running nose, caressed my back and told me ever so kindly to relax and try to take a real deep breath and hold it in. I couldn't do it, it made me cough and up came a few bloody stains. Through blurry eyes, I saw a worried frown. He noticed my dizziness and made me lie down before I fainted completely.
They listened to my lungs, drew a blood smear, listened some more and tried to make me relax more.
After about 10 minutes the older one told me he imagined I must be in a lot of pain because it seemed I had Acute Bronchitis and had a few minor lacerations on my mucosals which explained the blood.
There was a little attempted chitchat about where I lived(freaky that the old one knew the exact house without me saying anything but the street name) and what education I was doing. They were a little worried that I was to walk home alone but I assured them I was a lot less panicky and it was not that far away. Besides I has to drop by the pharmacy right on the way.
They prescribed some pills that would both sooth the cough and the pain and I was well on my way.

As soon as I exited the clinic, clutching the prescription, the biggest and most beautiful snowflake hit my jacket and I couldn't help but smile..
I absolutely love winter and was worried I'd miss my annual walk in the very first snow fall.. And this is by far the best treatment I have ever had by clinic doctors.

"saywhatifyouwantomarryme"

2011-11-21T21:48:00.000+01:00

I didn't say what..
It's his new crazy idea, getting married.

Anyway, we're slowly settling in, getting adjusted to the new routines. We lack a bookshelves or two, though, but I hope that'll be fixed after Christmas. I fancy a white corner model from Ikea and I know I'll get a gift certificate for Christmas.
Further more, we have totally falling in love with a little fur-ball from the same place I got Felina.
Her name is Shirley and I'm paying the deposit for her next week, told Jonas all I want for Christmas is a little financial help with her and he seems quite alright with that.

I am so exited about getting her, can't wait to go get her in 11 weeks! I'll get pictures and development description of her every week until then.
She's from really good lines, a mix of Danish, German and Finnish. Her parents are both big, 5 and 8 kg.
I already plan on taking her to her first show in March.

Jonas family is very iffy about presents and whether we get them the right stuff or not, especially his sister. I'm not really the Christmas present kinda person, I don't want anything. But apparently I have to get something and I have to get the right stuff and designer brand for them. Jonas decided to take care of that, though. I have plenty other things to spend money on. Jonas, Angel and the cats that is.
But the wishlist everybody seems to demand from me looks something like this
1.Gift-certificate to Ikea.
2.Maretials to fence in the garden at spring
3. Money for above mentioned.
I really hope to get some of the materials and not another baby blue sweater or leaf-green dress. I need the materials, not more clothes.

On another note, I really need to pull my stuff together and keep up with schoolwork. I plan on spending most of the holidays catching up on everything, i'm a little behind in a few classes.

Enigma

2011-11-12T12:58:00.000+01:00

My beloved mystery has left my side. Hopefully to be at a better place.

3. April 2005 - 21. Oktober 2011

After almost 2 years with behavior issues, it was a tough decision to let her go.
She was a great companion for 6½ year and she will always have a special place in my heart.

I have taken her to several vets a dusin times to figure out what the problem was; why did she often pee outside the litterbox? Dirty, clean, it didn't matter. Why did she in periods become aggressive and lash out for no reason at Felina? Why did she seek solitude most of the time. Why did being neutered not stop the peeing?

No vet seemed to be able to find anything physically wrong with her, but at her last visit, a theory came up.
The new vet told me that he suspected all the problems could have been caused by a small bleed in her brain. It would cause the sudden behavior and personality change. But nothing more could be done by now.
He told me I had made the right decision but I still cried my eyes out.

I caressed her and stroke her soft fur even after her heart stopped beating. It was too hard to really let her go.
Jonas brought her out to the house and buried her in the garden for me.

Now she lies under the big apple tree. It's soothing to know she's still close even though she's not really there.

So this is why I currently only have one cat..

The Dream

2011-10-31T21:03:00.000+01:00

-is becoming reality..

We found this amazing little house for rent. 2 bedrooms and a big garden with delicious apples and so much potential.

It needs a little work here and there but it's cheap and the owner seems very nice and open to our suggestions about fixups and changes.

I already have a ton of plans for the basement and garden. We're talking about getting the basement properly isolates so it can be used as a gaming, office and creativity area. Maybe even a place for some extra kink.

The garden is to be weeded out, groomed and entirely fenced in so the cat(yes, currently I only have one, update on that in next blog) and hopefully her futur kittens can roam around with us without me having to worry. I want to be able to just open the front door and let them out without them being a bother to the neighbours or risk they get lost or catch any transmittet diseases from ferral animals.

I see myself sitting on the lawn, playing with a kitten or two while jonas is preparing steaks on the grill and Angel eating an freshly plugged strawberry on her swing..

We moved in this weekend and already the first night here, I slept better than I've done in a long time.. I love this place so much already.

Think it's about time..

2011-10-13T22:03:00.001+02:00

Vacation in july; Southern Germany and Northern Italy

Germany

Regen central park

Amusementpark with Germany's biggest rollercoaster!

(except the rollercoaster wasn't build yet)

The Forrest of glass

Café in Regen

We sought shelter from the rain

Casio, Italy

Morning view

Classic Italian style house.

We had the upper floor

The evening view

The pool in a foggy night.

There's mountains somewhere behind it.

In an ally street in Luca

Germany

Breakfast before the long trip home.

-We're not going on vacation with my family in law again, btw.

I'm not much into their way of treating each other or their son, me and my daughter and their way of 'relaxing' involves getting up at 7 in the morning.

But I do hope the I get a chance to experience Italy in my own way some day!

4 years already..

2011-07-14T20:55:00.000+02:00

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Angel, happy birthday to you!

My Angel is 4 years old today and despite the rain, it's been a really good day.
I woke her up a little early and while she snuggled in with Jonas, woke up properly and opened her first present which contained a bunch of clothes, I made breakfast; heated rolls and fresh pineapple pieces.
After breakfast, she had a quick shower before getting dressed in a beautiful summerdress she got in her present. Then off to kinder garden to play and celebrate with the other kids. They made cake and bead plates.
I went and bought her a few things for entertainment on the road to vacation tomorrow and also some things she's been wishing for. A pink gel ball and plastic snakes, insects etc that she got when I picked her up.
Jonas had decided that dinner was a trip to Mac Donald's, he knew she would love that. And she did indeed!
The rest of the evening was spend watching 'An Extremely Goofy Movie' on TV, cuddling on the couch and drawing a bit before she asked to be put to bed.

I hope she had a really good day <3

A rose is a rose..

2011-07-02T22:37:00.003+02:00

There.. 2 years of blogging, deleted..
Except from a few posts that I felt like I needed to save..
The rest is gone and forgotten, there was nothing more I wanted to remember from that period of time. I'm turning over a new leaf, I guess you could say.

At this very moment, I'm awaiting a happily not-so-sober man to come home for a late night dinner.
I found the most beautiful red rose today when taking a walk with my daughter. I know he loves red roses.
But I didn't pluck it, didn't touch it, didn't want to ruin it's beauty.
So when he wakes up tomorrow and turn on his computer, the first thing he'll see, is a beautiful, bright red rose, covered in small drops of rain.

I took a picture of it.

*Edit*

He gave me a beautiful pocket watch when he came home. I can't take a proper picture of it but it looks a little like the one below except it has more details, golden hands and in the middle it says; TEMPUS EDAX RERUM. Time, devouring of all things.

I love it..

Just another lovestruck blog

2010-10-06T20:41:00.001+02:00

Press the link and listen while reading..

You Are My Rock

Oh oh oh I, oh oh oh I
If I wrote a book about where we stand
The title of my book would be "Life with Superman" That's how you make me feel I count you as a privilege This love is so ideal
I'm honored to be in it
I know you feel the same I see it everyday
And all the things you do And all the things you say You are my rock
Baby you're the truth
You are my rock
I love to rock with you
You are my rock
You're everything I need
You are my rock
So baby rock with me
I wanna kiss ya, feel ya, please ya just right
I wanna touch ya, love ya, baby all night
Reward ya, for all the things you do
You are my rock
I love to rock with you
I love to rock with you Oh oh oh I
If I wanna try to count the ways You make me smile
I'll run out of fingers Before I run out of time
Theres things to talk about Sugar you keeps it going on
Make me wanna keep my lovin strong
Make me wanna try my best
To give you what you want and what you need
Give you my whole heart, not just a little piece
More than a minimum,
I'm talking everything
More than a single wish,
I'm talking every dream
You are my rock
Baby you're the truth
You are my rock
I love to rock with you
You are my rock
You're everything I need
You are my rock
So baby rock with me
I wanna kiss ya, feel ya, please ya just right
I wanna touch ya, love ya, baby all night
Reward ya, for all the things you do
You are my rock
I love to rock with you
I wanna rock with you
If There's options I dont want them
They're not worth my time
Cause if it's not you, oh no thank you I like us just fine
You're a rock in the sand You're a smile in a cry You're my joy through the pain
You're the truth through the lies
No matter what I do I know that I can count on you Oh oh oh I, oh oh oh I
You are my roc
Baby you're the truth
You are my roc
I love to rock with you
You are my rock
You're everything I need
You are my rock
So baby rock with me
I wanna kiss ya, feel ya, please ya just right
I wanna touch ya, love ya, baby all night
Reward ya, for all the things you do
You are my rock
I love to rock with you
I love to rock with you Oh oh oh I, oh oh oh I
I wanna kiss ya, feel ya, please ya just right
I wanna touch ya, love ya, baby all night
Reward ya, for all the things you do
You are my rock
I love to rock with you
I wanna rock with you

"I'm yours with heart, body and soul" he tells me

2010-09-29T20:51:00.000+02:00

Okay, I caved, I gave in, I fell..
After months of denying, refusing and swearing it would never happen, I let myself fall so in love..
Soon to be a month ago, the 7th of september to be exact, I told him just to tease him(because I knew what he was hiding and how bad he wanted it) that the day before we had been lovers for a month.
'Unfortunatly', my teasing backfired when he threw the "so I guess I could say 'happy delayed one month anniversery, honey' " with a big smile on his face, knowing it would make me tick and want to flee...
About an hour later when cuddling on the couch, he went and asked me if we should make it official or if I wanted to deny it for another months time. I dodged and said I didn't want to talk about things like that with Angel awake and whining, hoping he would leave it be.
But no...
As soon as he was sure she was fast asleep, he pinned me to the couch, making sure I wouldn't just flee and told me he wanted an answer, a simple yes or no. And oh how I wanted to flee, run away and hide..
But looking into those bright, forest coloured eyes and feeling those strong arms, warm wrapped around me; tight but softly, I knew I didn't really want to go anywhere, I just wanted to stay put. I wanted him to be mine and I his and even though the realisation made me panic inside and every fiber of my mind and body was screaming to get away, my heart told me to stay..
And so I did..

I still barely believe it's true, I keep thinking it'll end any time now, that it isn't real..
I didn't think I would ever really fall in love again, and especially not now..
But he keeps reassuring me that it's real, he ain't going anywhere and there isn't anything he won't do for me and if he mess up, he'll do anything to mend it and not repeat it..
He don't mind my mess, my quirks, my flaws, my tendenses to jealousy don't even bother him..

Every day that goes by, every kiss, every sweet word whispered into my ear, every decleration of his love, all maked me fall more and more in love with him..

Am I ready?

2010-08-30T18:24:00.000+02:00

At the foot of the mountain, I think it through, am I ready?

Through twisted paths, steep climbs and stormy weather, I mount it.

At the top of the mountain, I breath deeply, am I ready?

Through wind and snow and biting cold, I run across it.

At the edge of the mountain, I panic, am I ready?

-Midnight

The Perfect Date.

2010-08-23T18:01:00.001+02:00

-except, it wasn't really a date, now, was it?
Anyway, my sister picked up Angel Saturday afternoon and I just had time for a shower and getting dressed before the skagen guy who is now gonna be called Tiger in here, came and decided he wanted to take me out for sushi like he promised a long time ago.
We ended up at Sushi Sushi where I told him to take lead and order so he decided to let the chef surprise us with their best.
And I must say it was great. I love sushi! And he was the perfect company for this experience, my first time on a fancy sushi restaurant.

As we ended the the meal with some hot Sake, we agreed that we were defiantly doing this again. But without the Flyfish caviar next time, we just don't trust that bright orange stuff. This concept created a lot of fun during the evening.
Aftwerwards we took a stroll on the harbor, watching the water, kissing and cuddling, talking about what a great romantic evening this was, despite the lack of romance and that we weren't a couple.
So we went to Irish House for a few drinks and a laugh before taking a stroll down Jomfruanegade and having a few drinks at the Rock Café before deciding it was time to go home.
Sunday, we spend most of the day in the nude, cuddling, teasing and just relaxing before separating.
It was amazing...

-Midnight

Pizza buns

2010-08-21T01:17:00.001+02:00

The time is close to midnight, I'm sitting in my kitchen waiting for the dow to swell. I'm making pizza buns.
I find myself thinking of the past two weeks and how much time we've spend together, how much we text each other when apart and how fond I've grown of his company.
This is a bad thing.
Why?
Because along with those cozy evenings, snuggled up on the couch together, the cuddling in late nights and early mornings, the deep and intense kisses, a little green beast starts to wake and roam around a little. Thoughts and worries I have no interest in or right to have starts to form in my mind and I push them away quickly.
I should probably have a talk with him about this and take a little break away from him, not having him around for a while.

-Midnight

Pets, kids and my girls

2010-08-09T15:00:00.001+02:00

I here by officially reclaim ownership of the skagen guy as my pet!
It's been a fun way getting here..
We pretty much ended up spending most of the weekend together, partying friday, not leaving his bed until late afternoon saturday, sunday he bought dinner and stayed at my papa's place to watch movies with me efter my papa, sister and brother in law had left..
We've talked alot about trust and he seems very precistent on getting me to trust him...
Well, he seems very precistent on getting real close to me all together, expecially when being drunk. When drunk, he reveals more than I think he wish to, expecially his desire to be close to me and be the one to be there for me.
Last weekend at at party, in his very, very unsober condition he made the mistake of bluring out that he'd fallen for me. Of course he denies it now, saying it was just the alcohol talking and I truely hope that's true.
I'm still not sure what to make of it all, I still don't trust him and I have a hard time letting go of what he did before... But I do enjoy his company, teasing him and his attempt to convince me to trust him...

Angel started kindergarden and she seems really fond of it, so much actually, that she barely has time for breakfast in the morning and when she comes home she's so worn out and tired from all the new and playing that she's whining and crying until she passes out on the couch right before dinner, with the result that getting her to sleep in the evening is hard..
But I guess it's just a matter of time until we're back in a steady rhythm and she calms down..
So far, I'm not all satisfied with the mentioned kindergarden and it's staff. I barely know anything about who works there, who does what and how it all goes around during a day there. No one tells me how Angel's been doing and they don't seem to care much about personal contact.
If it keeps up this week out too, I'm sitting them down on monday to talk about it. I need to know what goes on in my 3 year old daughters life when I'm not around and I need to know the people looking after her many hours of the days is actually really looking after her..

My sunshine was here last week, helping me and Angel while she started kindergarden and I'm sure I wasn't much fun company most of the time, being so tired due to my constant lack of sleep.
But she's a great girl and she's always okay with my weird daily rhythm and we had a good time, shopping lingerie for us and clothes for Angel again. It's a tradition when she's here already.
She wasn't all that happy meeting the skagen guy wenedsday for a movie night but Seth fell in her taste just fine, I knew they would get along just fine.

I worry about the hippie alot, she was tested negative for ulcers and they're pretty sure she's got gallstones. And yet they make her wait for weeks for the examination and probably months to get them removed. I really can't understand how they leave people in pain for so long like that and I really wish they would just do something about it now instead so she doesn't have to be in pain constantly.
On top of the constant pain, she's starting at the university in a few weeks and she's moving in a few days and I can't help her much with any of it because I have Angel acting the way she does when coming home and my lack of sleep...
But I will try and help her unpack and give her some company.. I miss her..

I guess that's all for now though I could rant on alot more about useless info... But I'll stop here today..
-Midnight

Another Nightly Walk

2010-06-28T00:48:00.000+02:00

Lonely, in the night, I walk,

Seeing nothing but the shadows of a days life.
Or that of the next.
Lonely, I walk, surrounded by the soothing calm of night.
Feeling the dark wrapped around me like a safety blanket.

Or a safe distance.

Lonely, in the midst of the night, I walk.

Like many other nights before.

Torsdag aften

2010-06-26T13:28:00.000+02:00

Det var en god aften...

Projekt Blond

2010-05-26T17:41:00.000+02:00

Besluttede lige at lave en oversigt over mit projekt...

Februar 2010

Begyndelse Marts 2010

Slut Marts 2010 - og en lille smule fuld ;P

April 2010 - almost there..

En tur til frisøren i næste uge med min søs skulle gerne afslutte projektet og så er jeg nærmest helt hvidhåret...

Det er planen hvertfald...

My sweet, perfect, little Angel

2010-03-03T10:23:00.000+01:00

I just tugged Angel back in, she woke up at 00:30 and caught my attention by calling ever so gently "mommy... i love you.."
So I just had to go pick her up and hold her close to me and she held on to me tightly asking if we could go into the livingroom.. Of course we could.. So we snuck under my covers on the couch and just sat there, cuddeling and again "i love you mommy".. I just had to tell her what a wonderful miracle she is to me and she smiles as if she really understood and snuggled closer to me..
It wasn't long though before she looked up at me and said "you crying... why you crying mommy?"
I just smiled and told her it was because I am so happy to have her, that it was happy tears... She is the most wonderful little creature and I am truely the luckiest mother in the world..
I tugged her in in her own bed after 20 minutes and with the words "my mommy loves me so much" she fell asleep...
And I still can't stop crying..
But it truely is happy tears....

-Midnight