Another star in sky, another Angel in heaven.

Tanja 24.02.1990-18.03.2012

Despite her tough life, my sister was a great person with a beautiful heart.

I'm gonna miss her..

Broken Things

It's like a shattered mirror or a puzzle with a few missing pieces.
I keep looking for ways to put it back together, moving bits and pieces around.
My cold skin hides the sense heightening adrenalin rush.
A certain longing for uninterrupted subjects comes to mind but I focus on mending the cracks.
Aiming for my own sense of perfection, I accept that I will always want to fix the broken things.

Cursing in Japanese

Weather it was with the intention or not, it made the blood freeze in my veins and deep, almost forgotten hatred crawl under my skin.
A friend send a picture to show me her current crush. "The one on the far left" she said.
But I did not see that one...
Second, on the right. He seems to be doing well. Much too well for my liking.


Kisama shinde kudasai..
Sekai de ichiban daikirai..

Internship

I just ended a 5 days internship in H&M and it has been an absolutely amazing experience and ever so strong a motivator to get my stuff together and do better at school. That is what I want. And in order to get there, I need to focus on my education, do my assignments properly, turn them in on time and get my absence rate down by at least 50%.

Monday:
I walked into the store at 10 am and was immediately greeted by the girls and showed around the offices, storage room, lunch lounge and departments. And then I was put to work, unpacking and inserting alarms in new clothes. I also got to try and put the clothes out in the store, but I doubt I was of any help. I almost got a hang of their brands and which departments they were in.

Tuesday:
Got in at 8:15, started unpacking and doing alarms again. At 9:20 I got a vanilla latté from Baresso while the others had breakfast, they found it weird that I don't eat breakfast.
After that, I started hanging clothes in the store, went alot better this time. Probably because they gave me the easy stuff.
Lunch was a treat from the boss today, sandwiches and soda. They remembered I'd said something about liking systems, rutines and order the day before so in the afternoon, they asked if I would be interested in sorting and making some sort of system in their price/discount/sales tags until I got off at 16:00.

Wednesday:
From 10 am to lunch I helped around the store and the fitting room and I felt a little bit lost and unable to keep up with the tasks in the fitting room. After lunch, one of the girls in charge of the kids and mens section who had also heard about my ability to sort and create systems asked if I would do her the favor of going through her part of the storage room with kids winter clothes. Took me little more than 2 hours and then I asked if I could go finish with the tags for the rest of the day.

Thursday:
I swear, they're aiding my OCD...
Got in at 10 and was asked if I could possibly fix their wall with hangers, make an easy system with the different types and for each department. I skipped lunch which seemed to confuse the girls a lot, they kept asking if I didn't want to have a break or something to eat. I didn't. Worked on the wall for 3 hours time while helping a little with the fitting room where, thank goodness, not much was going on. Then went to help out in the store again before Jonas and Angel came to pick me up at 5 pm. I bought a pair of shoes for me and for Angel before we went to get dinner at Sunset. My feet were killing me by now.

Friday:
Got in at 8:15 and started unpacking and inserting alarms, after 9 it was only me and another girl who was really nice. We touched some really personal subjects and got to know each other quite well in the 3 hours we unpacked. I also kept an eye on the fitting room from 10 and from 12:30, I was in charge of that alone. And goodness was it a task! Apparently everyone decided to go shopping that day and despite my lousy appearance(Jonas shirt, knitted scarf, messy hair), someone actually asked me to help her find 10 outfits. Several people asked for my help about how the clothes fitted them, if it was the right colour and size etc.
At the end of the day, my body was pretty much screaming at me to stop and relax, not being used to the past 5 days hard work, walking/standing up/climbing latters for 7-8 hours a day and after receiving a "Thank you so much for all the help and we hope to see your application for a permanent internship at the top of the pile within long" and a gift certificate, I started walking towards the kinder garden to pick up Angel.. I was at the brink of tears the entire way, each step being more painful than the previous.
Despite that, it was an amazing week and I would love to do it again!

I was told I'm the most engaged, easy learning and hardworking interns they have had...
I'm more than welcome to come back next year for a weeks internship..
If I was interested, they would like if I would send my application for my 2 year internship after I finish school, a.s.a.p.


I am considering the next school-internship I have to go through, to be a 3 week one in London, though.
If I can make some arrangements with Jonas and the grandfathers with Angel, that is. It should be doable. She'll be 5½ by then, Jonas will be more comfortable with his role as a parent and should be able to do it and she will be more capable and have a closer bond with him.
Of course I'd miss her ever so much and Skype home constantly. But that internship would be an amazing opportunity and experience and a great asset to my education.
It's a year from now, though, so I have plenty of time to figure the details or change my mind a million times.

I don't want to rule the world

-I just want to run my own life..

I'm currently stuck at this song, playing it on repeat.
Rolling In The Deep by Rachel and Jessie from Glee..
I find his voice so.. So incredibly sexy... In this song..

Anyway, we threw a housewarming party this Friday and it was possibly one of the most amusing parties I have thrown, if not the most amusing.
Aside from the mandatory drama that is. But that was fairly easy dealt with, non of my concern for the most parts.
Although I had to take Shirley to the vet around the time people started arriving.
I got to introduce some spiritual people to each other, weird people out with my sense of snacks when serving wasabi covered nuts, study people I haven't really studied before.
And again I managed to keep my alcohol intake at a moderate level, remembering to drink plenty water in between. But oooh the caffeine! I'm out of practice with that one, I must admit.
Barely any nudity this time, though. Not that I mind, it wasn't called for.
When the party died out in the early morning hours, I took the bespectacled youngster for a walk. I figured he could use the air and I find him quite interesting. His curiosity of everything and the fact that he really is one of the most intelligent yet blank people I have ever met(you're reading this; still no offence, it's rather adorable) is somewhat uplifting and exiting.

My Sunshine will be moving here in a month, to temporarily live at my couch until job and education has been acquired. It'll be good for her to finally move away from a place that brings her nothing but frustration and sorrow.
She has to change her way of seeing the world though, it's not as bad as she thinks. Life is not as hard if you don't will it to be.

Shirley is starting to settle in well. She got pink eye so I took her to the vet who has to be the most awesome vet I have met. Think we'll stick to them in the future.
Felina sleeps most of the day, her nipples are swollen and she will eat anything, even if I just fed her. This is a good sign, that means kittens soon enough.

At this very moment, I look to my left to see Jonas sitting with Felina on his lab, Dragon Ball on the screen, headphones in place and that content smile on his lips. I've been told he hasn't always been like this, he wasn't like this until he met me.. I like that..
I'm quite very lucky to have a man like him..

-3 kg

I'm fairly satisfied with that.
I'm not there yet, but at least something's happening. I feel better. My clothes fits better.

We're picking up Shirley tomorrow. I can't wait to meet her, feel her fur between my fingers, hear her voice, see the soul that hides behind those moss green eyes.
I need to make some preparations before though, hide all electric cores, cover the cracks behind the book shelve so she doesn't get stuck. Stuff like that.

My Sunshine might move here sooner than planned. We're looking for jobs, I offered her my couch without time limit. She's talking to the schools about making the transfer.
The bespectacled boy is good for her, he's honest and kind. It's adorable when he takes in her scent and she freaks out from the intimacy.

I'm so incredibly scatter minded today, my head feels heavy, clouded.
Thank goodness this is the last day before spring vacation.

Don't Bang Denmark

This book is written by a dude who claims that Danish girls are masculine, hostile and unresponsive to normal compliments. They don't know how to flirt, they're boring in bed and accordingly have 'bodies like Pepsi cans'. They want to be strong and smart instead of sexy and alluring, they can't cook and have no humor.

Our teacher wants to anger the girls in my class and create debate and she succeeded.. Though I don't see why..

I can't help but pity the writer, what kind of women mustn't he have met..
But then again, looking at him, you're tempted to think women simply just didn't find him worthy of their flirtatious attention..

I just updated the kitties website because in less than a week, Shirley moves in and at this very moment, Felina is visiting a beautiful male called Izmir who is from the same lines as Enigma. So we're expanding the family quite a bit over the next couple of months, kittens are expected in week 16. Due date being my birthday actually..
So if you're considering a Maine Coon, keep an eye on the website!
Actually, I already have the first reservation. Ayla decided she's love a female from me and I would love for her to have one of my precious babies.

My sunshine is visiting, staying until the 25th. I haven't seen her since August and we've both had a lot happening in those 7 month passing. It feels good to have her back and it's obvious that it does her a lot of good too. And having the spikey haired, young gentleman visiting too only adds some extra +'es.
I can't remember when I last saw a 'couple' being so natural and cute together..
She really needs to move to Aalborg soon..

I've started drawing, but I can't seem to find the right mood which annoys me to no end. I have the picture in my mind, just waiting to be put down on paper, but it doesn't come as natural to me as it used to do when I was younger. It's been 2 years since the last drawing I made.
I used to draw constantly, my fingers almost a permanent shade of gray from the pencil. I miss that.
On the contrary, my fan-fiction is coming along nicely. I'm currently working on the 8th chapter and I plan on making no more than 10-11..

Think that was it for now..