Near Future Dreams

Despite how much I love winter; newfallen snow on a chrispy cold morning and having a cup of steaming cocoa while a blizzard is raging outside my window, I'm really looking forward to the spring when the ground is thawed and soft.
You see, I dream of remodeling the entire garden and fencing it in so the cats can enjoy the ourdoors in safe surroundings
I dream of having a terrasse where I can sit and enjoy brunch on a sunny morning in the weekends and fire up the barbequ in the evening, while the ladies enjoy the soft grass or chase insects or even birds.
I dream of Angel splashing around in a kiddy pool and a bundle of kittens explore the big world that is our garden, while I tend to my herbes and vegetables.
I dream of expanding the family with a perfect MCO Male, who will get his own residence and enclosure with a neutered companion. Of course I'll tend to them every day and make sure they're never lonely or lacking any comforts.

I always wondered how anyone could have cats that didn't live inside the house with the rest of the family, but the more I read and think and study about having a stud for breeding, the better I understand and the more appealing the idea seems.
A male cat sprays and dominates his territory. This is his nature and no amount of litterboxes, Feliway, training or scolding will prevent it. But by giving him his own residence and enclosure where he is allowed to follow his nature, you get a calmer and happier cat. By adding a neutered companion, you keep him social and friendly towards other cats. And of course by tending to him daily, you keep him cuddly and friendly towards you and other humans.
He can be as much of a family cat as any cat living in the house, it's just a matter of affection and efford.

I already have a pretty good idea how to create a good, warm and cozy home for such a King.
I'll ask the people upstairs if we can change basement, because their room has a window on the southside, by the patch that will turn into a terasse.
I'll section that room into two; one side for storage and the other will be made into a cat home. The window will be made into a door to the outside enclosure by adding a catdoor.
(Inspiration found on gittemarcussen.dk who has beautiful Birmans and dkbjoernholt.dk who has georgous MCO)

  

Of course this will be the last project in the garden, remodeling and fencing in comes first. Also, I have yet to actually find a stud.
My heart is already set on one, who's absolutely georgous. But unfortunately, the chance of me getting him is very slim, the current owner being unsure of weather she actually want to sell him or not.
He can be seen on misacoonz.com under their studs. His name is Yagami Light.
If I can't get him, I'll look for something of the same type; wide, muscular, big muzzle and lots of fluffy, soft fur.

Goodness, I wish spring would come soon so I can get started..

Sudden Progress

The past month, Felina hasn't left my side for more than a few moments at the time, whenever I'm home. Which is most of the time.
She prefers to be curled up on either my stomach, chest, back or legs, but if there's no space for her there, she'll cuddle up next to me, so close that we're still touching.
Shirley on the other hand has managed to destroy most of the chritmas decorations I hadn't put in the basement yet. I assume she's bored and restless since Felina doesn't want to play these days.
But oh how I love those wonderful creatures.. Hopefully they'll welcome the new edition to the family I'm planning.

Anyway, since my school decided to cancle our agreement to let me be on paid sickleave, I had to contact my county office(Rebild Kommune) and apply for economic support.
Jonas went with me there Thursday last week and we got to talk to some very nice ladies who were quite understanding about my situation and within an hour, I had 3 new meetings arranged within the upcoming week; one to fix my economic situatiion, one with my caseworker and one with their psychologist.
Yesterday, we fixed the economy, tomorrow I'm seeing my new caseworker, Thursday I get money and Monday I'm seeing the psychologist. They want me to get all the help I need, on my own terms and in my own time. They all seem so incredibly nice and understanding which I am certainly not used to from my old county office(Aalborg kommune) who never really did anything but stress me out further when I asked for help.

Today I went to see my new doctor, because apparently the one who put me on sickleave isn't there full time.
I was very wary about suddenly having to talk to a new doctor about everything and it was really difficult to get out the door. Having to sit and wait 40 minutes in the waiting lounge didn't help the situation.
When my name was called, I recognized the man as the one who panicked when I came in with acute bronchitis. Oh no..
But as soon as I sat down in his office and we started talking, he seemed genuinly interested, curious and very professional. My physical healt seemed to concern him a great deal too, so he asked me to get my old medical journal transfered to them because it tells about my previous problems with dizziness, passing out, low vitamine counts etc. He wants to check if my condition might be caused by something physical.
He was very pleased that I already have an appointment with the psychologist who he seemed to know and approve of and he's satisfied with my current medication.
Also, he wants to see me weekly for consultations about depression and anxiety as well as a bunch of tests. Next consultation has been scheduled; after the meeting monday so I just have to get off the train and go see him.

Suddenly, a lot of progress is happening all at once.

















Lousy picture, I know..

My Lovely Ladies

They deserve the absolute best!
And when I have the oppotuity to spoil them, I can't help myself. Which is why, aside from their regular food, I ordered another brand that has bigger bites to help them keep their teeth clean and healthy.
I also got them snacks with the same purpos.
The food they get is with as high percentage of meat and protiens as possible and as little unnescessary fillers suchs as grains, potato etc. Cats are solely carnivorus and have no need for complex carbohydrates like humans do.

The ladies usual food is Porta 21 Feline Finest - Grain free.
Contains 80% chicken; crude protiens and fat.

The new stuff we're trying is Animonda vom Feinsten Deluxe Grandis.
Contains 42% mixed foul; crude protiens, fat and fibers.

For snacks, I got them Smilla Toothies.
Contains 50% mix of foul and fish; crude protiens, fat ad fiber. Also contains herbes and berries that they would naturally get from the inside of mice and birds stomachs.

Aside from this, they also often get raw salmon, chicken, cod roe and occassionally bacon if I'm about to cook it.
I've been looking to see if I could find chicken hearts and liver anywhere, but it seems I can't even get it from the butcher.

And of course, I couldn't help myself and ended up ordering this vanilla scented littersand I found, because I'm extremely curious. Does it actually smell like vanilla when the cats have done their business? and what does the ladies think of that?
That would be Cat&Clean de Luxe vanilla scented.

Also, I seem to have fallen for this boy that I probably can't have. He lives in London and there's just  something about those golden eyes that caught me.

Anyway, assuming my economy won't be too unstable while I'm on sick leave, it should be possible to have the garden done and fenced in within a couple of months. I would really like that.

 

PS. I need better pictures of Shirley.

Late night snack or early morning breakfast?

It's now 05:07 and it seems I'll be pulling yet another all night'er.
Seeing as tossing and turning is only fun for so long, I've prepared a small plate of cheese, crackers and fruit along with a cup of tea, and at the moment I can't decide weather it would count as a late night snack or very early breakfast.
Anyway, I decided to share some very good news with you.

Angel has been accepted to Skipper Clements International School!
She'll be starting in August 2013 and all of her education, except danish lessons, will be taught in english.
The school is part of University Of Cambridge International Examination Center which means they mostly follow the International Primary Curriculum. As in the all international examination system that is used in 150 different countries.
This school litterally opens up the world for her. When she's old enough, she can continue studying in any of the 150 countries if she pleases.

It's a private school and aside from the amazing education system and the oppotunities that follows, the teachers also seem really nice and engaged in the kids developement and the school has a zero tolerance policy for bullying. There's also a very close school-home cooperation.

I'm quite exited. I didnt think she'd get in because they have more than 120 candidates  each year but only 22 seats in the class.
But she got in!

Oh and merry christmas, btw ^-^

Your life has been put on hold, please wait..

Lets skip the formalities and get straight to it; I'm sick and tired..
No, seriously, I'm on sick leave with no expiration date.

It seems a suicide, losing a friendship with what I considered a best friend, case exams, Angel's kindergarden  filing a notation because of her temper, a cancer death, ending up in yet another experimental class full of new people and projects and my school coach who I used to have weekly consultations with going on maternity leave, all of this in 5 months, was a little more than I could handle.

It started with small bursts of panic after my sister died. Whenever someone would ask me how I felt, If I was okay or tell me how sorry they were, my heart would start racing and I'd find an excuse to get away from them.
As more things happened, the feeling escalated and I didn't feel like being around people, I didn't feel like going outside at all. Every time I did, it felt like my heart would burst through my chest and the sky would come crashing at any minute. The world outside was uncomfortable and scary.
I was in a terrible mood most of the time and unable to sleep more than 2 hours at the time, if even at all. When I did sleep, I had nightmares.

The 5th of november, I went to see my doctor. I cried for the first time in months and I felt completely heartbroken as I explained everything to him. He gave me a hug and said he was glad I'd come, it was importent that I got help and treatment immediatly and that he would like to see me every second week and get me started on some meds for the panic attacks and depression.
He also signed me up for consultations with their psychologist. I'm really glad he's my doctor.

These days, I can barely get out the door. But the meds are slowly working and I have all the time in the world to get better.
Jonas is a great help with Angel and the house when I can't get my head around much and I can't even begin to express how grateful I am.

My mom has also offered to help a lot with Angel, so she doesn't just hang around the house with me. I want her to get out and have a good time and enjoy the upcoming christmas and experience a ton of fun and new things. Next week, she's going there for a small vacation. 5 days...
I haven't been seperated from her for 5 days since before I met Jonas.. But it'll be good for her. She might even get to see her cousine for the first time in almost a year!
My father's ex, Rikke also has her over once in a while and I like visiting her too.
The grandfathers want Angel this new years eve again and she's really looking forward to that. They visit some friends who have two older boys that she love to play with and the evening is very much centered around the kids having fun.

I think that was all for now so I'll take my meds, put on 'Vampire Diaries' and crawl under the covers..

Followers..?

I've been wondering for a while how many, if anyone, actually follow this..
So if you do, please leave a comment!
It doesn't have to be anything special, just a 'Hi, I follow' or something.

 

Thanks!

(not so)Short update.

So much have been going on and I want to write it all down, but whenever I try, the words seem to abandon me.

*My grandfather died two weeks ago. He was diagnosed with cancer in the middle of July, and after that it just went really fast, so he didn't suffer much.
I spend the last 3 days of his life sitting in a chair next to his bed at the hospital, holding his hand and I got to say a proper goodbye; how much he meant to me, he was an amazing grandfather and I loved him.

*I started school again but I've only been there for 4 out of 11 days because of the above written.
I was happy to discover that the leftovers from my old class have all been put in the new one too. Along with a bunch of teenage airheads, though, but I can live with that as long as I get to work mostly with Maria and Shirley.
The teachers, so far, seem pretty cool too and I will continue my weekly conversations with the school coach.

*Jonas and me are also trying to make the relationship more exiting and interesting again after a very boring routine seemed to have kicked in. We want to be better at talking, taking time for each other and do things together, like we used to.
So far, the talking and spending more time together has already improved and I'm loving it

*Angel is developing so fast and I can't believe she'll be in school in less than a year! Whenever we meet new people, they don't believe she only just turned 5 because she's so far ahead from many other 5 year olds(and she's tall as hell!). She speaks danish, obviously, but also know many english terms and scentences and often answer, in danish, a question I might have asked myself or Jonas, in english.
Here's a few of the things she can say:
-I love you very much!
-I'm thirsty.
-I know.
-Goodmorning/Goodnight
-she can count to 12.
-Here kitty-kitty.
-I want a kiss/hug
-yes/no.
If anyone is in doubt, I'm very proud of my daughter ^.^