I decided quite a while ago that I wanted this blog to be mostly positive and not too personal due to the people reading it. Some are too close to allow me the space to write whatever I feel like, others simply taker joy in the negativity. I don't care about the latter though. And I shouldn't care about the first.
But I do, because if I write something someone might find offensive, I'll be confronted and have to explain and defend not only my written words but also my emotions.
I'm considering getting an old fashion, paper journal but I have had some real bad experiences having those, people finding them, using my secrets and thoughts against me.
I'm considering making another blog and keep anyone I know irl out of it.. I have had some real bad experiences doing that, people finding them, using my secrets and thoughts against me.
I'm considering keeping documents hidden around on my computer but somehow people have managed to find those too..
See a pattern?
In irl, I can't talk to anyone about anything that's beneath the surface. This fact offend quite a bunch of people.
For years, I haven't been a very secretive person. I was an open book and didn't hide anything. If I was angry, I was angry. If I was sad, I was sad. If I didn't care, I simply didn't care. Not caring is a bad thing and a taboo, you can't not care without something being wrong with you. But that's just one matter among many I won't take up in this blog. Ever.
I seem to have forgotten why I started writing. How bothersome.
I'm exhausted..
