The most amazing Christmas ever.

For the first time in my life, I have only gotten presents I have actually wished for..!
No sucky make up in quality and colours that I can't use, no pink towels, no knitted sweaters, no ugly tablecloths or candle holders or pictures of skycrapers/'vampires'/flowers or 'persian' carpets.
I want to brag a little, mostly because I am strongly exited. And I know this makes me sound very shallow and bitchy, but when you've worn black for 11 years and still get yellow shirts(three sizes too small or big) for Christmas, you get a little cranky. I think people either see it as a joke or seriously believe the black clothes is just a phase. What's wrong with wearing black??

Anyway, here we go:
-5 gift certificates for IKEA worth 2700,- (Big bookshelve and some new kitchen towels is being bought for some of the money)
-2 gift certificates for Salling worth 400,- (M.A.C make up!)
-OBHnordica digital kitchen scale (Cooking/baking/weighing cats and kittens)
-12 red wine, 12 white wine and 6 champagne glasses. (Finally! We love wine and already had 2 winebreathers. But no glasses.)
-Nuance wine pourer areator. (pure luxury!)
-Curtain for the kitchen window

Angel got a ton of toys and some clothes and she loves it all, she didn't even want desert or play the mandatory gift stealing game. I tugged her into my bed around midnight and she passed out immediately. We went to set up the TV and dvd we got her so she'd wake up to that. It's not a new TV, actually Jonas' old one from when he lived at home. But it works and she's happy.
Jonas got a book he really wanted(Game Of Thrones), tools, gift certificates and the wine glasses + areator was a joint gift for us. He decided I bought him Star Wars, but I don't really feel that's a gift from me so I think I'll give him some books in January(A Clash Of Kings and A Storm Of Swords)
Auntie and the boys loved their presents too. We'd bought a Beaute Pacifique Moisturizor for Auntie, a toaster for Dan and Glenn got money of same amount at their gifts so he can afford a quitar he really wants.
Dan is considering renting the small but ever so amazing apartment upstairs but I think it'll be a little too expensive for him. They left with the last train at 00:30..

Without intend, I made the food almost low fat. I didn't add any, used honey instead of sugar, poured away the grease, used low fat Greek yogurt instead of full fat creme fraise for the broccoli salad and skimmed milk for the sauce instead of cream. I'm quite satisfied with that. Think I'll stick to those recipes.

Well Christmas is not completely over yet though. Tomorrow we have family lunch with my parents, uncle, siblings etc. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, but they have a bunch of gifts for Angel, so I promised we'd come. BUT! If any of them is just the slightest bit intoxicated or they bring alcohol to the table, we'll be leaving in an instant.

The Night Before Christmas

For the past year, I have followed this girls blog. I've known her for years, though never really personally.
We've met occasionally at parties and other happenings, had a few conversations online over the years, but nothing special.
I must admit, I admire her. She seems so fragile and amazingly strong at the same time and she has quite a bunch of talents that fascinates me.
But even after following her blogs for this long, I rarely press 'send' when writing a comment. Simply because I don't want to seem like a stranger stalking her life..
I have often considered sending her a message saying I might just be a random stranger, but if she ever needs to talk, I have an ear. 'Cuz that girl's been through some tough stuff and still struggles with the consequences.
I never do it though. I know I couldn't offer her as much support and as close a friendship as she seems to deserve.  And to be honest, I haven't got the slightest clue weather or not she even likes my online attention or she'd rather I left her alone.

Anyway, it's Christmas eve tomorrow and I'm quite exited about it.. It won't be anything too fancy, just us three, my auntie and her two boys, I'm doing the cooking. Don't want my auntie to worry about the slightest thing this year, she really deserves a break and some pampering. We even bought a red wine I think she'll like, even though she so rarely let herself sit down with a glass..
The bedroom is stuffed with presents, mostly for Angel, from Jonas' family.. I wonder if any of us get anything from our wishlist, I doubt I will. But Angel will love anything she gets anyway, she's so exited just unwrapping stuff.
I have already prepared a ton of food and I keep thinking I should make more. Which is silly because I barely eat any of it myself. I just love making it.
But tomorrow is defiantly going to be amazing.

On another note:

She's now 8 weeks old, only 6 more to go before I can go get her!

And I know when I need it I can count on you, like four, three, two - You'll be there..

Bruno Mars - Count On Me

1½ year ago, you stepped through the front door to my heart for the first time and decided you wouldn't walk out again.
I am still ever so love struck and so lucky to have you..

2012

I have set a bunch of goals for the upcoming year and there are other stuff that needs to be delt with. And then there are all the stuff I dream of doing..
So I decided to make a list which I will refer to during next year, check off what's been done etc.

Needs to be done:
-Pay all old bills.
-Help Felina through birth and motherhood for the first time and find good homes for the kittens.
-Bring down my absence rate at school.
-Catch up on schoolwork and home assignments.
-Sort and organize the basement.
-Get bookshelves and unpack the last boxes.

Goals:
-Find good tenant for apartment upstairs(must love cats).
-Pay and pick up Shirley in beginning of February
-Fix, fence in and redecorate garden before June.
-Have 1 full month with no sick-days from school before April.
-Take better care of my health, body and looks.
-Get in shape and lose 5kg.

Dreams:
-Borrow my grandfathers summer residence for a week during summer with Angel and Jonas.
-Mini vacation in London with Jonas during summer or fall.
-Get lots of beauty products from Soap&Glory, new makeup and extensions.
-Lose 10 kg.

I might add more later on, but for now, this is it.

Acute Bronchitis

I couldn't just settle with the common cold, now, could I..
No I had to go and get borderline pneumonia and make a fool out of myself at the Doctor's clinic..
Better take it from the start..
The last 2 months, I've had the flu, a bladder infection, a sore throat and then a cold. The cold got a real good hold of my lousy immune system and started developing from a sniffle to coughing and on to me barely being able to breath, still coughing and in quite a lot of pain. It kept me awake all through last night and this morning, I felt like a truck had run over me once or twice. So I gave in and called the clinic.
It's located less than 1 km from our house and yet the trip up there left me dizzy and heaving for my breath and I was slightly panicking. As soon as my new Doctor looked at me and said I surely didn't look too good, if I had problems catching my breath, I could barely hold back tears and whimpered "I just want to breath but it hurts".
He caught me completely off guard with his kindness, I'm not used to that from doctors.
The poor man reflected my panic, guided me to the couch to lie down and ran off to get one of the older Doctors.
The older one got me to sit up, brought me tissues for my tears and running nose, caressed my back and told me ever so kindly to relax and try to take a real deep breath and hold it in. I couldn't do it, it made me cough and up came a few bloody stains. Through blurry eyes, I saw a worried frown. He noticed my dizziness and made me lie down before I fainted completely.
They listened to my lungs, drew a blood smear, listened some more and tried to make me relax more.
After about 10 minutes the older one told me he imagined I must be in a lot of pain because it seemed I had Acute Bronchitis and had a few minor lacerations on my mucosals which explained the blood.
There was a little attempted chitchat about where I lived(freaky that the old one knew the exact house without me saying anything but the street name) and what education I was doing. They were a little worried that I was to walk home alone but I assured them I was a lot less panicky and it was not that far away. Besides I has to drop by the pharmacy right on the way.
They prescribed  some pills that would both sooth the cough and the pain and I was well on my way.

As soon as I exited the clinic, clutching the prescription, the biggest and most beautiful snowflake hit my jacket and I couldn't help but smile..
I absolutely love winter and was worried I'd miss my annual walk in the very first snow fall.. And this is by far the best treatment I have ever had by clinic doctors.

"saywhatifyouwantomarryme"

I didn't say what..
It's his new crazy idea, getting married.

Anyway, we're slowly settling in, getting adjusted to the new routines. We lack a bookshelves or two, though, but I hope that'll be fixed after Christmas. I fancy a white corner model from Ikea and I know I'll get a gift certificate for Christmas.
Further more, we have totally falling in love with a little fur-ball from the same place I got Felina.
Her name is Shirley and I'm paying the deposit for her next week, told Jonas all I want for Christmas is a little financial help with her and he seems quite alright with that.

I am so exited about getting her, can't wait to go get her in 11 weeks! I'll get pictures and development description of her every week until then.
She's from really good lines, a mix of Danish, German and Finnish. Her parents are both big, 5 and 8 kg.
I already plan on taking her to her first show in March.

Jonas family is very iffy about presents and whether we get them the right stuff or not, especially his sister. I'm not really the Christmas present kinda person, I don't want anything. But apparently I have to get something and I have to get the right stuff and designer brand for them. Jonas decided to take care of that, though. I have plenty other things to spend money on. Jonas, Angel and the cats that is.
But the wishlist everybody seems to demand from me looks something like this
1.Gift-certificate to Ikea.
2.Maretials to fence in the garden at spring
3. Money for above mentioned.
I really hope to get some of the materials and not another baby blue sweater or leaf-green dress. I need the materials, not more clothes.

On another note, I really need to pull my stuff together and keep up with schoolwork. I plan on spending most of the holidays catching up on everything, i'm a little behind in a few classes.

Enigma

My beloved mystery has left my side. Hopefully to be at a better place.

3. April 2005 - 21. Oktober 2011

After almost 2 years with behavior issues, it was a tough decision to let her go.
She was a great companion for 6½ year and she will always have a special place in my heart.

I have taken her to several vets a dusin times to figure out what the problem was; why did she often pee outside the litterbox? Dirty, clean, it didn't matter. Why did she in periods become aggressive and lash out for no reason at Felina? Why did she seek solitude most of the time. Why did being neutered not stop the peeing?

No vet seemed to be able to find anything physically wrong with her, but at her last visit, a theory came up.
The new vet told me that he suspected all the problems could have been caused by a small bleed in her brain. It would cause the sudden behavior and personality change. But nothing more could be done by now.
He told me I had made the right decision but I still cried my eyes out. 

I caressed her and stroke her soft fur even after her heart stopped beating. It was too hard to really let her go.
Jonas brought her out to the house and buried her in the garden for me.

Now she lies under the big apple tree. It's soothing to know she's still close even though she's not really there.

So this is why I currently only have one cat..

The Dream

-is becoming reality..

We found this amazing little house for rent. 2 bedrooms and a big garden with delicious apples and so much potential.

It needs a little work here and there but it's cheap and the owner seems very nice and open to our suggestions about fixups and changes.

I already have a ton of plans for the basement and garden. We're talking about getting the basement properly isolates so it can be used as a gaming, office and creativity area. Maybe even a place for some extra kink.

The garden is to be weeded out, groomed and entirely fenced in so the cat(yes, currently I only have one, update on that in next blog) and hopefully her futur kittens can roam around with us without me having to worry. I want to be able to just open the front door and let them out without them being a bother to the neighbours or risk they get lost or catch any transmittet diseases from ferral animals.

I see myself sitting on the lawn, playing with a kitten or two while jonas is preparing steaks on the grill and Angel eating an freshly plugged strawberry on her swing..

We moved in this weekend and already the first night here, I slept better than I've done in a long time.. I love this place so much already.

Think it's about time..

Vacation in july; Southern Germany and Northern Italy

Germany

Regen central park

Amusementpark with Germany's biggest rollercoaster!

(except the rollercoaster wasn't build yet)

 The Forrest of glass

 Café in Regen

We sought shelter from the rain

Casio, Italy 

Morning view

Classic Italian style house.

We had the upper floor

The evening view

The pool in a foggy night.

There's mountains somewhere behind it.

In an ally street in Luca

Germany

Breakfast before the long trip home.

-We're not going on vacation with my family in law again, btw.

I'm not much into their way of treating each other or their son, me and my daughter and their way of 'relaxing' involves getting up at 7 in the morning.

But I do hope the I get a chance to experience Italy in my own way some day!

4 years already..

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Angel, happy birthday to you!

My Angel is 4 years old today and despite the rain, it's been a really good day.
I woke her up a little early and while she snuggled in with Jonas, woke up properly and opened her first present which contained a bunch of clothes, I made breakfast; heated rolls and fresh pineapple pieces.
After breakfast, she had a quick shower before getting dressed in a beautiful summerdress she got in her present. Then off to kinder garden to play and celebrate with the other kids. They made cake and bead plates.
I went and bought her a few things for entertainment on the road to vacation tomorrow and also some things she's been wishing for. A pink gel ball and plastic snakes, insects etc that she got when I picked her up.
Jonas had decided that dinner was a trip to Mac Donald's, he knew she would love that. And she did indeed!
The rest of the evening was spend watching 'An Extremely Goofy Movie' on TV, cuddling on the couch and drawing a bit before she asked to be put to bed.

I hope she had a really good day <3

A rose is a rose..

There.. 2 years of blogging, deleted..
Except from a few posts that I felt like I needed to save..
The rest is gone and forgotten, there was nothing more I wanted to remember from that period of time. I'm turning over a new leaf, I guess you could say.


At this very moment, I'm awaiting a happily not-so-sober man to come home for a late night dinner.
I found the most beautiful red rose today when taking a walk with my daughter. I know he loves red roses.
But I didn't pluck it, didn't touch it, didn't want to ruin it's beauty.
So when he wakes up tomorrow and turn on his computer, the first thing he'll see, is a beautiful, bright red rose, covered in small drops of rain.


I took a picture of it.

*Edit*

He gave me a beautiful pocket watch when he came home. I can't take a proper picture of it but it looks a little like the one below except it has more details, golden hands and in the middle it says; TEMPUS EDAX RERUM. Time, devouring of all things.

I love it..